Nicht von mir, sondern von wem anders, aber absoult... unterhaltsam.

Signs! (long rant coming, I've been snickering at this movie for a long time.) This movie just flat out wins for poor quality aliens. The 1950's sci-fi movie 'The Attack of The The Eye People' (Yes, it had 3 'the's in the title) had more belivable aliens.

Aliens attack a planet totaly soaked in water with the intent of taking over the planet. They have the technology and intelegence to create a navagation system to get them to the planet, build some sort of craft that can survive the dead of space and travel great distances at incredible speeds, then to navagate the planet via a complex system of symbols we know as crop circles. It is impossible to look at the Earth from space and not see that it is DRENCHED with the most dangerous substance they have ever encountered, water. They know the sligtest contact with this substance will melt them like a hot knife through butter.

This race of powerfull beings decides that the best way to attack would be, of course, bare-ass naked. No sealed armour, no thin rubber suit, no rubber booties, not a single umbrella. Their choice of weapons? Bare handed melee of course. Oh, but wait! They have a secret weapon up there sleeve! A jet of poison gas that they can shoot from their wrist with a range of almost 4 inches! And this gas is so powerfull that it can ALMOST kill a 12 year old human child! How could they loose?!?

Another point I loved about Signs. The aliens like to show off by jumping over your house all the time. (Who can blame them? The wet soild and dew on the lawn must have been hell on the feet.) As they prowl around on the porch and the roof you can hear very heavy foot steps, showing that these creatures are obviously heavy. With 6 1/2 foot tall muscular bodies they were probably at least 200 pounds. Can you imagine how strong a pair of legs would have to be to propell a 200 pound body over the third floor of a building? Later in the movie these same amazing aliens encounter the high-tech human invention of 'The Pantry Door.' The first one looks like a real door, and the human pushes something in front of it traping the alien inside his pantry. Our friendly neighborhood intergalactic warmonger is traped in there for hours. Doomed. A bit later yet, the aliens have the humans traped in their basement. There is a 200 year old door with huge gaps and cracks with rusted hinges and a tiny, frail lock. These legs that can propell heavy aliens 30 feet into the air are again suddenly powerless in the face of door technology.

Being a naked, bare handed, water soluable alien who can't kick in an old door makes an attack against a water based species on a water soaked planet a chalange to say the least. Can you imagine a group of 20 children armed with squirt guns ever loosing to 20 aliens? Maybe the aliens could take out a couple kids but they would all end up melted piles of goo. Maybe they could use their poison? The alien 4 inch purple poison cloud is cute, but that is nothing compared to the awe inspiring natural projectile weapons the humans have. Mell Gibson could have just droped his pants and urinated a stream of caustic yellow death at these aliens and cut them in two. Using only spit and urine, armies of naked elderly humans would easily defeat these armies of naked poison spewing intergalactic warriors.

And this dosen't even touch on the dangers of being a water soluable creature trying to kill a human with bare hands. When you kill a human there tends to be a minium of some blood leaking, at worst squirts and pools of blood. If an alien were to punch a human in the face breaking his nose, the alien's hand would most likely melt.

If the valor of a story's hero is defined by the danger and power of his enemy, then the hero's of Signs were the least heroic of all time. Not though any fault of their own mind you, but because their enemies are inferior to peeing babies.