Alte Hasen

Medium-Size Aberration
Hit Dice: 3W8+6
Initiative: -3
Speed: 5ft
AC: 7 (-3 Dex)
Attacks: see below
Damage: no
Face/Reach: 5ft by5ft/5ft
Special Attacks: I'm an "alter Hase"and know it better than you, You are a munchkin-player, 1st and 2nd Edition are so much better and 3rd Edition sucks
Special Qualities: I'm a ture gamer defense, I met Gary Gygax so I'm holy defense

Saves: Fort+3, Ref-2, Will+1
Abilities: Str 10; Dex 5; Con 14; Int 10; Wis 6, Cha 8
Skills: not many
Feats: Endurance

Climate: any Land sometimes hidden in chamber without light
Organisation: Solitary, on Cons (3-12)
Challenge Rating: 5
Alignment: Lawful stupid
Advancement: 4-1000HD (Large)

"Alte Hasen" are bizaree ceratures that lurk in dark places like fantasy shops or dungeons. They kill newbies and players who like new editions of games without remorse or pause, exept to plan cruel amusement.
"Alte Hasen" are difficult to distinguish from other gamers until you speak with them or look at their age. They sometimes pursue their own mysterious goals. While they are cerainly intelligent, their minds work in a way so alien that few if any human beings have ever been albe to make meaningful contact with them.

Comabat:
"Alte Hasen" usually wait in fantasy shops or stalk message board on internet. If facing an single opponent, it allacks with the "I know it better" Attack. Agains muliple foes it chooses the other allack-modes.

I'm an "alter hase" and know it beter than you (Ex):
An "alter hase" begins normally speaking with the words: I'm playin 10 years (sometimes even 100 or 10000000000 years) role-playing games (D&D, AD&D 1st and 2nd, Rolemaster, Warhammer etc.) and because of this my arguments are much better than yours. This causes the opponent to make a will save DC:20. If he succeeds he can engage in the discussion with the "alte hase".

You are a munchkin-player (Ex):
This attack is often used to demonstrate inferior playing style of the opponent. It is often used in combination with the "I'm a true gamer defense". Normally the "alte hase"attacks with saying that you are a munchkin because you choose the improved critical-feat instead of skill focus "profession herdsman". Some cruel "alte hase" use this attack especially after they watched some kids playing the game and having much fun with half-fiend/half-dragon/half-tarrasque/vampire characters. The opponent has to make a will save DC:25 to feel not ashamed of his playing style.

Ist and 2nd Edition are so much better and 3rd Edition sucks (Su):
This ability is used to show the opponent how cool the "alte hase" is, because he plays an unsupported game-system. Of course, everything was better in the 1st and 2nd editions, especially the game balance. New editions are for kids, computerfreaks and munchkins. Roleplaying back in the old days was an art, because the system supported roleplaying through the use of bizarre encounter/reaction tables. The opponent has to make a will save DC:20 to be not affected by Tasha's hideous laughter spell.
It is rumord that some ancient "alte hasen" exist, which see every edition since the blue D&D box (1981) as heresy. The DC against their attack increases to 25.

I'm a true gamer defense (Ex):
Often is this argument used to show the opponent how mature the "alte hase"is because all his characters took Skill focus "innuendo" and Skill focus "profession herdsman" and are blind kobolds with 100 pages of backround. The "alte hase" uses this defens to counter every argument and fun the opponent has with his playing style.

I met Gary Gygax so I'm holy defense (Ex):
This argument is used if the "alter hase" is on defense. The opponents have to make a Will save DC:20 to ignor the effect. If the opponent fails his save he is affected by an silence spell for the next five minutes. Some "alte hasen" even proclaim "Gary Gygax personally DMed for me" or "I met Tolkien bevore he wrote 'Lord of the Rings'". But these arguments can be countered with a Sense Motive check DC:10.

The feat Endurance gives the "alte hase" +4 on all checks concering his arguments

Aber irgendwie haben sie auch wieder recht. Viele neuen DM´s bringen die Atmosphäre nicht rüber, und viele neue spieler sind Powergamer....und horchen nicht mal Metal

Ist schon traurig wenn man mal bei einer Gruppe auf Gast ist und der DM auf den Vorschlag Rhapsody zu hören sagt, ich soll in mit meiner Satansmusi in Ruhe lassen

Metall ist eben nicht jedermanns Sache, und das muss man dann auch akzeptieren. Du wärst sicher auch nicht begeistert, wenn Dir plötzlich einer mit Helmut Lotti auf den Pelz rückt.

Respiktier ich auch, aber das ein Rollenspieler Metal blöde Satansmusi nennt hab ich nicht erwartet.

Dabei kennen die Rhapsody gar nicht, aber das reicht anscheinend schon aus , ich frag mich wo das alles hinführen soll, vor paar Jahren wussten nur einige wenige "Außerwählte" von P&P, Pen&Paper sollte Informatikern, Studenten, Freaks und Metalheads vorbenhalten sein.